When the bottom is on its way…
When your strategies and ways of being that once worked so well cease to work at all…
When the job you’ve tolerated gets intolerable, when the hunger you’ve hidden becomes unhideable, when the torsion of being a particular version of you becomes untenable…
When looking good stops feeling good, when being small stops being true, when good enough stops being good enough…
And when the thought of going through the same predictable cycles suddenly makes you sick…
You are at a very special place.
If you are anything like me, you will spend some portion of your time at the bottom trying on different strategies for prematurely leaving the bottom.
You will start reading 4 different books on spirituality simultaneously.
You will hold on tight to the first insight (no matter how hollow) that comes along, saying, “Eureka! This is it, this is the thing I was meant to see. Ok, I’m done being at the bottom.”
You will minimize, dismiss, and deny that anything important is happening inside you at all.
You will make a ‘to do’ list with 300 items.
These exit strategies can be effective… sometimes.
In the event of a genuine katabasis, though, another set of rules might serve you better:
Don’t come up too fast.
Stop trying to escape the bottom.
Lose hope in all your old tricks, plans, and strategies.
There is important work happening here. Your wisdom is expanding and you are coming into contact with yourself.
If you are afraid of getting stuck, of getting lost, know this:
Your bottom will let you know when it’s time to come up.
For now, surrender, relax, and just do your best to keep your eyes open.